Heard among the Pathfinders: Triple Players

These quotes are from three separate games: My Miresseia game on Saturday at Meetup and two separate Pathfinder Society `tables where I happened to overhear good ones on Sunday.

Bringing two swords to a gun fight, are you?

You make your bedroom acrobatics roll?

Do I get bonuses for flanking *and* tea bagging?

It's a blunt thrusting weapon

Striker? check. Meat shield? check. Healer? check. Let's do this

. . . Rambo vs. Preditor fanfiction . . .

You are now the keepers of the sacred pizza. Do not rub it.

New Spell: Tenser's Floating Poker Game

You guys might be in a relationship

At least is's not a lust monster or a rust monster, it's a dust monster!

I forgot my +1 swifter broom

Does it take double damage from vacuums? If so we might just suck enough for a bonus.

Rogue: "Now I'm going to get screwed."

Cleric "Nope, that was yesterday's game" (where aforementioned rogue wound up escaping the town watch by leaping into the joy house next door . . .)

Rogue: "I'm scouting ahead, not leaving the group."

We're following the paper trail (as party followed a trail of papers in Swift Prison)

"How do wimpy druids do 2d6 with clubs?"

"Shelliegh spell"

"Oh"

They say we are rootless wanderers . . . (after a druid's entangle spell)

Everybody's rolling good...even the bad guys

Neutralize, I mean, neuter him

Would the baron be mad if he bribed him?

Where is Admiral Akbar when you need him? (While the rogue searches for traps, of course)

Player: "I search the bedroll"

GM: "You find bugs"

Make sure you paint me gloriously

You fell prone on my sword, Get the hell off it!

Acrobatics check to get across the sewer?

Those damned Taldors, they think their shit does not stink.... (in a sewer)

Fight! Fight! A Derro and a Mite!

Get used to the word "fetid."

From the "Adds a Whole Meaning To The Phrase . . ." department . . .

"Root access"

Yes, it's safe for work.

In a word: eeeeewwwwwwww.



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Listening to: Porcupine Tree - Access Denied
via FoxyTunes

If the 2008 Presidentiual Candidates played D&D . . .

This by way of my friend Tim:

The Onion Strikes Again . . .

. . . and Evolution will Never Be The Same Again.

Thank Darwin

brain...splode!

Selected results from a slash fic pairing generator:

Jayne Cobb (Firefly)/Luke Duke
Hiro Protagonist (Snow Crash)/Gabriel (Constantine)
Cassandra of Troy/Jack the Ripper
Alex P. Keaton (Family Ties)/Wyatt Frame (Josie and the Pussycats)
Dr. Stephen Maturin (Master and Commander)/Doc Brown (Back to the Future)
Loki (Norse Mythology)/Lancelot (King Arthur)
Governor Swann (PotC)/Prince Humperdinck (Princess Bride)
Mal Reynolds (Firefly)/The Conduit (Angel)
Count Olaf (A Series of Unfortunate Events)/Garibaldi (Babylon 5)
R.Buckminster Fuller/Pee-Wee Herman
Loki (Norse Mythology)/Squidward (Spongebob Squarepants)
Jesus/Elizabeth Bennet (Pride and Prejudice)

Interesting new SF billboards

Love them!

Speaking of food . . . eeeeewwwwwww!

Take one part food kitsch from the 1950s, add one part bad graphic arts and one part snark and you have The Journal of Regrettable Food.

Like this roast that " . . . looks . . . like Jabba the Hutt's prostate . . ."

The less said about that, the better.

Looks like lol-food . . .

Praise Teh Sacred Google!

This. Is. C00l.

The Discordian in me loves this kind of stuff. Eris and Google -- BFF!

Google's High Holy Day is September 14, the anniversary of the date the domain google.com was registered. And, it's just five days before another geek holiday, Talk Like A Pirate Day. A holiday devoted to the discovery of truth and good, not to mention pirates, is a perfect antidote to the annual beating around the head and shoulders with the proverbial bloody shirt every Sept 11.

Of course the Dungeon Master in me beat them to it awhile ago.


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Listening to: Seanan McGuire - Still Catch The Tide
via FoxyTunes

Make Your Own Church Sign

Details here.

In the dark future of the 41st Millenium . .

. . . there is only Hello Kitty!

The Altoids link is Not Safe For Work At ALL.

From Teh Innerweb for your Bush-Bashing Pleasure!

I like this





I was looking for a website with a countdown clock where I could use the new WebClip feature of OS X Leopard Safari 3.0 to make a Dashboard widget showing a countdown of the time till Shrub is scheduled to leave office. The widget even has a reset feature to reset the countdown in case the SOB is impeached. They also have Winderz screen savers (the Mac version is for pre-Tiger versions of the OS) and other assorted widgetoid things.

OK, this "lolcat" thing has gone JUST TOO FSCKING FAR!

Yet another example of people with too much time on their hands.

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Listening to: Leslie Fish - Witnesses' Waltz
via FoxyTunes

What's better than a Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch?

Two of them

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Listening to: Leslie Fish - The Gods Aren't Crazy
via FoxyTunes

Tom Smith's Cat Macros

I Can Has Teh Phunni

Introducing LOLRats

Be afraid.

Greatest. Satire. Ever.

Yes, David, I wish this Onion piece was satire and not prophacy

"If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog."

With friends like this...

This explains much . . .

From The Onion

Ten things that make me smile when I'm a bit down . . .

Right now, as I write this, I'm too damned fragged emotionally to be good company to anyone or to fall asleep.

When I'm in that state, I strive for complete control of my surroundings, what RTS players call "turtleing" -- I fort up, getting the hell away from people because I'm not at my best. My 1337 50ci@1 skillz are not mad enough to deal with social situations when I'm like this.

In Trek terms: shields up, red alert, phasers on desocialize, emoton torpedoes on overload.

When the ick subsides to the point where I'm no longer antisocial, I cheer myself by thinking of, visiting, doing / warching / reading these things (not in order of which has the highest "cheer me up" factor):
1. Michelle, David and Kaia. Hanging out with them helps keep me sane; the cats and I are old friends, and M's veggie cooking is teh r0xx0r.
2. A good book I've read before, any of my desert island books will work as does the 1632 series (alternate early modern history set up by a cosmic accident that drops a West Virginia mining town scirca 1997 smack in the middle of Germany during the height of the Thirty Years' War).
3. Iz. For far too many reasons to list here.
4. World of Warcraft. WoW's good for catharic venting onto poor virtual monsters.
5. Babylon 5. Best. TV. Space. Opera. Evah. Quotes like this one help me cope:

"Then I will tell you a great secret, Captain. Perhaps the greatest of all time. The molecules of your body are the same molecules that make up this station and the nebula outside, that burn inside the stars themselves. We are starstuff, we are the universe made manifest, trying to figure itself out. As we have both learned, sometimes the universe requires a change of perspective."

 -- Delenn to Sheridan in Babylon 5:"A Distant Star"

Firefly is NOT space opera, and is just as quotable.

6. I come up with game stuff. As an immediate example: when I went looking for the above quote, I found another B5 quote from Marcus Cole that will find its way into my "In Hoc Signo Vinces" D&D game. I'm keeping that one to myself for now . . .
7. Hearing songs I havn't heard in a decade or more, and thinking back to where I was then.
8. Reviewing my weight loss so far
9. Looking back on where I was 1, 3, 5, and 10 years ago and comparing then to now. Now almost always comes off better. I've come a long way since then, but in life it's grow or die.
10. A crisp wind, warm sunshine, running water, green grass.

You heard it here first . . .

MMORPG meets His Noodly Appendage. Film at Eleven.