Customer Service Hell: AT&T, MetroPOS, The thieving credit union

I cannot fscking believe just how rotten wireless phone company "customer service"can be.

I though AT&T was the absolute nadir of customer service. Their phone tree only seems to work when you need to pay them. Other than that, you have to creatively break the IVR's rules to get a Real Live Human Being™ on the line. But you could.

Boy was I wrong!

I switched to MetroPCS because they had unlimited calling and texting plans at a far better price than AT&T. Since Meece and I talk every night, sometimes for hours, something had to give. Meece's cell is on Sprint, but Sprint's calling plans make AT&T look downright cheap. I burned through a $50 AT&T phone card in less than two weeks even after changing to a $3 / day-of-use unlimited plan ($90 / month without text or data) when I was paying $10-$12 per call!

I went to Metro's store to see if my phone would work on their network -- it doesn't. Their version of the Motorola RAZR was too much, so I got their Kyocera almost work-alike phone for $50 less. My number port took extra time because of some confusion on my part over my AT&T account number, but I was able to keep my phone number.

All I can say about MetroPCS's phone tree is that it is terrible. The IVR is overly sensitive to ambient noise, forces you to confirm every single step, sometimes more than once. Once I managed to break the tree and get a human being, you get a typical don't-give-a-fsck rep with the empathy of a small gamey little ball of belly button lint. Five minutes of explanation to change my plan -- and he wanted to charge me $3 for making the change with a phone call!

I told this cretin to get stuffed and tried to do so online -- no joy. Back to automation hell to "fix it" -- and they still charged me the $3. Fsckers.

Thank Loki I do not have a 2 year contract with these morons. Since I just bought a phone, I'm in no position (other than "bend over and apply a generous dollop of lube") to change carriers again.

On the good side, Metro's wireless signal, data service and coverage have been better than AT&T's. Then again, diseased carrier pigeons and beat up tin cans on a grimy short string are better than AT&T's near worthless "EDGE" data network.

Finally, I fart in the general direction of the so-called "credit union" that maintains the ATM at work. This machine actually vended me a $10, not a twenty. I did not discover that fact till I tried to spend the bill, thinking it was a twenty. That was a dirty goddam trick.