Health: SG levels still looking very good. Dressings were changed, wounds continue to improve.
Gwenny: We're getting into disclosing deeply personal matters now. The way we both think alike is almost scary at times. The one cardinal rule we have so far: Complete bidirectional disclosure of objective truth. That means more than just "don't lie." It means telling the complete, full truth, without coloring or slanting it. Reality may be a three-edged sword, as Babylon 5 said. We are looking for the middle blade. This means getting outside yourself. Feelings *just are* and need to be discussed in full, so long as they are labeled as such and not as fact. At times, in prior relationships, I felt as though I was doing a minuet in a minefield. We'd be dancing along fine then BOOM! I'd (it was always me) step on some hidden emotional land mine. An hours-long (sometimes) lecture would ensue, just to make sure that I never stomped on that one again. And, of course, every misstep went into your Permanent Record so you never forgot about them. Then again, at times, I'd say or do things without thinking that triggered a mine. With Gwenny, I never have that feeling. Not because I am a lot better at staying away from those signs marking the minefield, but because there are no mines.
Or they are full of confetti, not HE.
Monday, March 16, 2009
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3 comments:
Everyone has mines, hon. The mark of healthy, in my book, is being able to acknowledge that the mine was the cause of the pain, not the person who inadvertently stepped on it, at least once you calm down.
I think I know what you mean. The problems I had here was that a certain second wife whom shall go nameless in this space, was to, in my view, personalize it, it I would accept responsibility for something I had no control over.
Yes, that's my point. Having triggers isn't the problem, holding someone else responsible for ones that haven't been mapped and flagged is.
If you know that your so has history with a lying cheat and they catch you lying, expect an out-of-proportion reaction, that might even reasonably include kicking you to the curb. If you don't know that the creepy pedophile next door when she was growing up had a garden full of pink tulips and innocently buy some for her, you are not at fault.
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