Roadkill on the Information Super Highway -- WoW style

WOW Politics

• the guild bank is fundamentally sound
• we need to take decisive action
• the NPC Reserve will inject a much need economic stimulus into Azeroth
• we're going to let the DKP system fail and let the markets work it out - guild leadership should not meddle in the market of DKP
• the Vendor reserve will buy up all the sub-prime Hearts of Darkness to get them off the books and get the Auction House working again
• our friends across the pond on the PvP servers will co-ordinate a Heroic Badge overnight lending interest rate reduction to send a clear message we have no idea what to do about this crisis
• we have nothing to fear but the expansion
• My opponents's proposal would reward the top DKP holders will access to the guild bank for over two weeks prior to the people who don't read this forum - that's not change - that's more of the same.
• I'm not going to discuss any success or failure in Sunwell Plateau - the real issue is we shouldn't have been there in the first place - and I had the judgement to say so in numerous guild votes - if I had been Guild Master we wouldn't been in Sunwell Plateau looking for gear of mass destruction - and we wouldn't be in the mess of having repair bills of over 200g everynight for the past 4 winterveil festivals - my opponent voted yes on Sunwell Plateau and therefore does not represent a meaningful change in guild leadership.
• Wellfare epics remove people's incentive to ignore family and friends and let them know it's ok to run low level content over and over and over again to obtain badges of justice - this degrades the accomplishments of the socially retarted and lessens the value of all gear - we have to restore the dignity of grinding - and help people play continuously so we can reduce the % of our population for which wellfare epics have become the only method by which they equip. their toon.
• I intend to propose a full range of health benefits for all the citizens of azeroth - I will pay for this proposal with a flat tax imposed on the top quentile % of DKP net holders - most citizens of azeroth will see no reduction in DKP accumulation rates
• it's very very important that all guild members vote - but please don't vote for anyone's opponent
• 12 party talks are the solution for negotiating with all ninja terrorists
• the 25 man raid surge strategy is working - and yet my ALT won't, even in hindsight, admit he has no idea what I'm talking about
• My Friends…
• I'm going to sound good while saying nothing…let me distract you with a story about how I lvl'd to 70
• less than 5% of DKP holders produce over 45% of the DKP value - but net returns as calculated against the original war-craft release date clearly show a decline in value for heavy-rune cloth health-per-second-squared rate of return - this clearly indicates that WOLK will be delayed - and thats why we need a reduction of total network lag right now and not 5 years from now - any fool can see that!
• I did not have /sexual relationship with that toon!
• History? What's my place in history? Hell that's all backed up on the blizzard servers and put in the tape archive!
• Achievements are overrated!
• It's the auction house stupid!
• We can not allow Horde characters to obtain 81-point talents - it would be a game changer
• There is a shadowy organization called "The GMs" that really run everything - they've always run everything - and this recent crisis is their fault, their creation, and their plan. Your life is an illusion of free will and we're all just electrons on this big universe called a "server farm" - pull plug from the wall and see the truth - or leave it plugged in and be comfortable in your illusion - you can handle the truth - can't you?
• All I'm saying is we need the experience of someone who's been held captive in Zul'grub - faced down Ragneros - and completed a 45 min baron in sub T1 gear - you want that steady hand that's been there before GM release dates - played the beta - and knows what's like to queue to login - sure my opponent has T8 gear and awesome gear artwork - but he wasn't playing when WOW was in beta!
• The G8 (the 8 wealthiest guilds) will set up a server wide lending pool to enable every citizen of azeroth obtain their lvl 80 mount - it's a fundamental dream of all toons to have these mounts - and to support these mounts I'm proposing a 90 day moratorium on account fees for ppl with less than 2 accounts - we don't need to help the people with 2 or more vacation accounts - but if your account is your primary account it won't be hacked for 90 days while you work out with the GM's how your going to get all your stuff back.
• we must not allow a DPS gap!'
• I will run instances with no attunements or pre-conditions - it's the only way to make progress and see the content - to do otherwise would simply allow the game makers to control my toon
• Listen to me very very closely here - if we have a world boss in sight and the gear to take him out - and the guild membership refuses to stop doing their dailies and come help me get my drop - I will PUG that world boss take him out and let that world Boss know PUG or no PUG he is a target and we'll do what it takes to get some loot!
• I'm so proud to announce that my running mate and future Vice-Guild-Master for all of azeroth will be Leroy Jenkins!
• Effective immediately all guild bank deposits will be insured against loss for up to item lvl 181 for each unique account holder - member BDIC return of item not guarenteed to have enchants and GEMS restored.