Heard among the Pathfinders: Triple Players

These quotes are from three separate games: My Miresseia game on Saturday at Meetup and two separate Pathfinder Society `tables where I happened to overhear good ones on Sunday.

Bringing two swords to a gun fight, are you?

You make your bedroom acrobatics roll?

Do I get bonuses for flanking *and* tea bagging?

It's a blunt thrusting weapon

Striker? check. Meat shield? check. Healer? check. Let's do this

. . . Rambo vs. Preditor fanfiction . . .

You are now the keepers of the sacred pizza. Do not rub it.

New Spell: Tenser's Floating Poker Game

You guys might be in a relationship

At least is's not a lust monster or a rust monster, it's a dust monster!

I forgot my +1 swifter broom

Does it take double damage from vacuums? If so we might just suck enough for a bonus.

Rogue: "Now I'm going to get screwed."

Cleric "Nope, that was yesterday's game" (where aforementioned rogue wound up escaping the town watch by leaping into the joy house next door . . .)

Rogue: "I'm scouting ahead, not leaving the group."

We're following the paper trail (as party followed a trail of papers in Swift Prison)

"How do wimpy druids do 2d6 with clubs?"

"Shelliegh spell"

"Oh"

They say we are rootless wanderers . . . (after a druid's entangle spell)

Everybody's rolling good...even the bad guys

Neutralize, I mean, neuter him

Would the baron be mad if he bribed him?

Where is Admiral Akbar when you need him? (While the rogue searches for traps, of course)

Player: "I search the bedroll"

GM: "You find bugs"

Make sure you paint me gloriously

You fell prone on my sword, Get the hell off it!

Acrobatics check to get across the sewer?

Those damned Taldors, they think their shit does not stink.... (in a sewer)

Fight! Fight! A Derro and a Mite!

Get used to the word "fetid."